You're only as crazy as I think you are.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8841958.html

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8841387.html

When your fic features Lois Lane as a domestic housewife that cooks breakfast for her husband and watches the kids all day, I become very alarmed, and hit the back button. I don't care if your fic is set in a continuity I'm not as familiar with, I'm pretty sure that Stepford!Lois is OOC everywhere.

ETA: Unless it is supposed to be creepy and other characters treat it as such, of course.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8841184.html

If Derek Venturi wanted to be with Casey because he's in love with her, he would not be secretly plotting against her ex-boyfriends.

He also wouldn't poison and kill Sam. His and Casey's relationship was over a long time ago, and besides, Derek and Sam are friends. Derek may not do well in school, but I can't see him putting his super secret plans on the computer so Casey can accidentally find them when he breaks her laptop.

And really, why is Casey even with Derek in the first place and why hasn't she gone to the police? She even confronted Derek about killing Sam! She has proof on Derek's computer that he's done these things, and she's pretending to be happy with him?

And biology fail here: You cannot find out that you're pregnant one day after having sex! It's impossible!

Edit: To fix a typo.
Edit 2: Found another typo.

http://community.livejournal.com/crack_impala/243137.html

Hi everyone! I hope this Saturday finds you well and happy. Here are some recs that we think you will enjoy...

Sam/Dean

This Thing of Ours
fleshflutter Sam/Dean | PG-13 | AU.
The Pilot - if the Winchester family business were organized crime rather than hunting the supernatural.
This AU is very elegantly realized, and written with great conviction and a very subtle attention to detail. Really compelling reading!

In Jerusalem Next Year
peripheralsight Sam/Dean | NC-17.
Sam's at Stanford: Dean comes to visit.
Engrossing and heart-wrenching, with one of the most vividly felt and convincing sex scenes you'll read anywhere.

Last Outpost of All That Is
gekizetsu Sam/Dean | NC-17 | AU future-fic.
The world is over, and it's a Winchester's lot in life to cope with anything - no matter what.
I always find post-apocalyptic stories interesting and intriguing: and this is a really, really good one. The end of the world is a scary vision, and the urgency of the Winchester relationship in that context is very nicely done.

J2

So Close to My Heart
audrarose JA/JP | NC-17 | AU.
Dr. Jared and single-dad Jensen in Seattle, with love and complications.
A nice, meaty, satisfying well-characterised and completely enjoyable J2 AU. Get yourself a nice cup of tea and settle in for a heart-warming and substantial story.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8840848.html

Dear Specific Author,

Ron is not going to equate Harry with Draco Malfoy if Harry knows something about the wizarding world Ron doesn't. He is not going to start calling Harry by his last name, and saying "Potter wasn't even that good in school!"

Ron can be jealous of Harry, and he can be a prat about it sometimes, but overall he is very loyal to Harry.

Nor does he particularly strike me as the type of person who refers to himself in the third person while ranting about how great he will become. That's more Voldemort's territory.

Love,
A person who thought you were doing a decent job of characterizing Ron before this left-field lunacy.

Dear Authors-In-General,

Harry/Ron fics do not require Hermione to be demonized. Stop making her out to be a crazy person out to destroy everyone's happiness. These are the two people she cares most about, you know!

Same for any other pairings up of the trio.

Love,
Somebody who likes her slash and her Hermione fic.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8840455.html

The fic started out really good. Well written, tugged at the heartstrings, I was all ready to love it to pieces. It had a pretty common scenario where Naruto has to take down Sasuke, for the village’s sake. And I could see Naruto doing this. What I can’t see Naruto doing? After smashing Sasuke’s body, grabbing him by the hair and cutting his head off. Then slamming the head face first into the dirt and jamming a kunai through it.

I get it, the author doesn’t like Sasuke…but  Naruto does. I just can't see him mutilating Sasuke's corpse like that. Killing him to protect the village? Yes. Cutting off the head and then jamming a kunai threw through* the skull of the guy he said was a brother to him? Not so much.

ETA* I can't proofread on Vicodin apparently. -_-

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8840353.html

Chapter 2 is up! There are definitely spoilers so watch out! Please review! Oh pretty please!

Well, okay, here's what I know about your fic: what fandom it's for (due to the section it's in), the characters (due to the tags), and that it's two chapters long so far. I also know that you would like reviews and that your story contains spoilers.

But I know nothing concerning the plot. I was fairly sure that a summary was supposed to provide that. The only plot-related things I know are from tags rather than your summary. Bad author. No cookie. I don't even know what section of the source material these spoilers are for! Endgame? Halfway through? Something found out in the first five minutes but that it quite shocking?

This is like summarizing a book with the following: "There are words! There is more than one chapter! Someone dies! Oh, and the characters are named Gary and Matthew! Please read! Oh pretty please!"

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8839989.html

Now, I'm all for fics that deal with real life issues, like homophobia. I've even been known to write one or two myself.

However, when people vehemently object to a teacher having sex with his underage student, homophobia might play a part in it, but that sure isn't the whole thing. After all if the student (or teacher) were of another sex, I'm pretty sure their parents would still be loudly objecting.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8839733.html

Dear non-specific fandom,
Can we stop having characters randomly break into a real-world song? If you want them to sing a song, at least do the effort to make one up, but having Sheik burst into "My Immortal" is so ooc it hurts. Also, it reminds me of "the fanfic that must not be named".

On second thought, let's just scrap inserting real-world musicians into not-real-world fandoms period. I don't care how much Link likes Red Hot Chili Peppers, unfortunately they don't exist in Hyrule, so if you must, let's be creative and make up our own bands/music, hmm? 

Although I would pay to see Anthony Kiedis in Hylian clothing.

Irritation,
LB

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8839477.html

Yumichika is not to Ikkaku as Mary Jane is to Peter Parker. He is not there for Ikkaku to save so you can show off just how awesome Ikkaku is. No, really, he's not. Yumichika, in fact, is pretty damned badass himself. Therefore, dear fanbrats, this idea that if Yumichika would need rescuing by Ikkaku is a bit of a stretch. Is it possible? Sure. But ithat's not because Yumichika ois a wimp, coward or whatever. It's because, just like many other people, Yumichika just might encounter a foe who's either stronger or craftier then him. It can happen, and he doesn't need to be weak for it to happen.

Ladie and gentlemen, he's in the Eleventh.

Here's a scenerio I keep running into: Yumichika is kidnapped and Ikkaku has to go save him. Ikkaku gets there, find his twu wub all hurt and kidnapped (extra points if he's been raped and is crying), kills his captures in a brilliant display of strength and awesome, ans saves Yumichika. Sex happens and all is right in the world. The end.

Now, as I've pointed out, Yumichika is not a weakling, and he loves a fight as much as the next Eleventh Division thug. Therefore, wouldn't it be fair to give him his due respect and let him show just how weak he's not?

I mean, YMMV and all, but I think it's more likely that Ikkaku would get there and find that Yumichika had effectively saved himself. At least have it so he took out a couple of baddies before getting taken out. SOMETHING! Something so it doesn't feel like one of my favorite characters is being shoehorned into this romance heroine ideal that doesn't make a lick of sense for his character.

Please?

edit because I'm apparently drunk and typed "it so" instead of "is to" o.O

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8839261.html

So recently I came across a Sam/Dean, Supernatural story that does that weird "AU - they're not brothers" thing. I don't really get that whole incest workaround but it had an interesting summary and I decided to give it a try. After a few pages I was starting to get confused because they both mentioned Mom (Mary) & Dad (John) and they referenced things from their shared childhood.

Seems like they are brothers, right? At that point I start to skim, looking for the not-bros bit. Eventually I find it - Dean's adopted.

He's not really Mary & John's son => he's not really Sam's brother => Sam/Dean isn't incest => author's not a perv for liking Sam/Dean.

NO - WRONG! - BAD WRITER - NO COOKIE!

Repeat after me: Adopted brothers are brothers. Sex between brothers is incest.
Also: FANFIC IS FICTION! Fiction is fantasy; is not real; is not judged by the same moral criteria that real life is. It's okay for authors/readers to enjoy writing/reading about things that they would consider completely unaceptable in real life. It doesn't mean authors need to warp canon/characters to justify their enjoyment.
And again: Adopted brothers are brothers.
Edited to remove some stray apostrophe's apostrophes. XD

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8839156.html

I think it's been quite a while since I've seen this, but when you get into new fandoms, you don't really know what places NOT to visit, so I did see it today.

This is something that will make me roll my eyes and not read your story without a doubt:

Smileys* do not belong in stories. Not in the narration, not in the dialogue, not anywhere (except for in an AN, I guess).

If you want to write how a character is feeling, then write it.

You lose even more points if you do write it and still use a smiley to "complement" it or something (idek).

*e.g. :) :( :/ :D ^^ m(_ _ )m D: >DDD 8D etc

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8838903.html

Yes, I know sometimes it can be difficult to put breaks between scenes, especially in one-shots on fanfiction.net. Still, there are several options for breaks that won't immediately throw your readers out of the story. For example, you can leave extra white space from one paragraph to the next, or you can do this:

---

or this:

*****

However, if you do this:

GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE

Congratulations, I can no longer take your fic seriously.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8838549.html

I've been venturing into J2 fandom lately, and I feel the need to say one thing:

Y'all is plural. I don't care if you think that y'all sounds more Texas-y than just plain you. Every time it's directed at one person, I wonder who else is being addressed, and it throws me right out of the fic.

Now, I'm not saying that no one in the entire world ever uses y'all as a second person singular, but USUALLY, it's plural. If you can't use it correctly, maybe just stop trying to use colloquialisms, huh?

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8838329.html

Dear author,

I have quite a few issues with you, but I have a feeling you would not be receptive to my concerns, so I'll just rant about some of that stuff that bugs me here, okay?

* The Magical, One Application Only Needed, Healing Cock does not exist. No, not even when two people team up to comfort/sex up a third one.

* Pain is a very real thing. Unless someone is a masochist, a large amount of pain (as in, say, being brutally anal-raped) is not going to arouse them to ecstatic heights, because their body will be far too focused on other things, like, you know, getting away from the pain, or fighting back, things like that.

* You can pretend to keep the characters IC, or you can have them all act like horny teenagers on Viagra and sex pollen. But you can't have both.

* Someone witnessing a rape and joining in is a complete jerk, not any kind of good guy. It's also consequently badly OOC if the character is canonically a reasonably good guy.

* Please, PLEASE, for the love of Aizen, WARN FOR NON-CON! I don't care if you and your buddies think that non-con is hot, or if your non-con is somehow supposed to be all fun and games, it's still non-con! So WARN! You especially have no excuse when posting on a site that uses tags and non-con is one of them.

I'm sure there are other things, but this will do to alleviate my accumulated disbelief, frustration and annoyance back down to manageable levels.

Learning to shiver just at the appearance of your name,

Del (and Sela, too)

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8837981.html

I really doubt that spilling soda on your gaming console of choice will suck you into a game.

For that matter, playing during a thunderstorm probably won't either.

Edit: I'll agree that the premise is not inherently bad, but I've never actually seen it handled well . . .

Bonus rant: Dissidia fandom, where is your goodfic? D:

http://community.livejournal.com/crack_impala/242749.html

Art
Love ya, Jerk
bloopfish | G | Sam/Dean | Digital Drawing
This is my first serious art for the Supernatural fandom.
And it's utterly gorgeous. The stylized look of this is beautiful and works incredibly well, and the sweetness will leave you in a perfect happy place.

Dean - Comic/Manga style
dauntdraws | PG | Digital Drawing
Dean Winchester drawn in a grayscale comic style.
Gorgeous. This image is a fascinating blend between photo realistic and artistically stylized, and beautifully executed to boot. The lines are crisp and smooth, the composition is wonderful, and the expression on his face is Dean-style perfection.

Chibis: Let's go!
angelicfoodcake | PG | Dean/Castiel | Digital Drawing
Chibi Dean and Castiel
Completely adorable and beautifully done.

Facilis Descensus Averno
acerbus_instar | PG | Digital Drawing
Artses. SPN - Castiel.
Stunning combination of earthy colors and strong lines. The feathers are just gorgeous.

A New Beginning
cugami | PG | Dean/Castiel | Digital Art
This 4 page comic strip is the third and final installation of a series.
This series is just beautiful. The panels of Dean and Castiel's hands reaching towards each other is breathtaking.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8837419.html

Decided to dig into this place to see what cliched plots I can find, though here are my findings which were more then I expected shall we say.

1. If said relationship isn't canon, one half of canon pair must be made out to be a possessive/bitch/cheater so preferred pair can happen (i.e Shizuma is a biatch so Tamao/Nagisa happens)
2. If yuri pairs don't work out and your love interest ends up with another person, you'll end up in a downward spiral of drugs (depressed!Tamao on anti-depressants)
3. Yandere works. If a Japanese lesbian finds out that her best friend hooked up with another person, said-rival shall be shot with a gun for the sake of 'victory'. Nevermind the fact that citizens in Japan are not allowed to have guns without a proper license thank fuck (Yaya shoots Amane)
4. Cutting wrist shall be the solution to 'relieving' the emotional pain. (emo!Yaya?)
5. The rival of your preferred relationship must and shall be bashed for getting in the way of victory. (Amane=bitch?)

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8837158.html

 I love you, for all your  flaws and whatnot, but there is something I should never have to see. And I've seen it.


And I quote: She said to her.

I'm sorry, no.

Thanks for playing, now take your things and get out.

ETA: Crap, I'm tired. Context: fic with six total characters, all female. The sentence preceding this one had three of the characters in it.

Although I tend to dislike this sort of thing just on principle because it uses nothing but pronouns, this instance was eye-crossing.

Son of ETA: Forgot to add, none of the characters mentioned in the preceding sentence were talking, or doing anything that would indicate conversation. That's what I get for posting this late ;)

http://community.livejournal.com/crack_impala/242502.html

HET

Fire Ship
july_july_july | Dean/Jo | NC-17 | dub-con, character death
"I don't feel anything different."
Really dark and poignant. A great illustration of the way they fit together and break apart so nicely.

OTHER SLASH

All-in
maskedfangirl | Castiel/Patrick | NC-17 | Spoilers for 5x07
An angel and a warlock sit down for a friendly game of poker...that gets a little more than friendly.
A very nicely done coda to this episode that explores a vibrant and complex connection between these two characters.